Big mistake buying xtra firm

I’m a small framed woman (5’2”,110lbs) and my partner is a average male (6’, 175) in our early 50’s. It was a big mistake buying an extra firmi was fooled by how soft the firm demo had become in the store and convinced boyfriend to buy extra-firm. Its 5 yrs old and hasn’t budged. Still rock hard with no give. We feel it has aged us. I’ve developed terrible neck and back pain and neither of get a fully rested sleep. I have spent hundreds of dollars buying various mattress toppers that can alleviate the hardness. All eventually fail within a couple months. It is so heavy, cost so much and is difficult to move (cal king) down the stairs, otherwise I would’ve insisted we ditch it. If you can handle sleeping on solid hard ground then this will work for you. Normally I would be thrilled that after 5 yrs it’s still in new condition. After 2 years of physical therapy, the only one thrilled is my physical therapist.